Hey guys, Mantos here. I'm starting a new comic. Ive done the Prologue. But I would like to know what you Vortexarions think of it. So basicaly I would like comments saying how I could improve it because I want "The end of all Saiyans" to be the best it could be. Anyway, Backstory.

Shinchi is a Saiyan, he and his father crossed Frost. Who is the King of Planet Vegeta and so as an example of not to cross Lord Frost... He killed Shinchi's father and then banished Shinchi from the Planet. After that Shinchi awoke at the bottom of Korin's tower surrounded by Carrera and Bault. At the same stage Frost was approaching Earth to finish what he should've finished a long time ago.


http://tinypic.com/r/144bbci/7


Thanks in advance, Mantos.

First of all, Frost's speech...is not Frosty.
Doesn't match his personality whatsoever >:[

Also, why is he SSJ4 against a SSJ?
Overkill, much? It would kill the other guy.

Umm, okay i'll change the speech a bit. Frost was only going 10%.

It can became a great comic, but you need to improve the grammar, and change the speech bubbles, it's difficult to read as they're trasnparents. Also, it's looking too kid-ish, it's too explained, Idk how to say it well, but I mean it's not natural.

As i'm a kid. (14). I'll try to work on it. I might redo the Frost section.