ok got a joke? post it here

two blonds were on their way to Disneyland. They saw a sign that said "Disneyland left". Then they cried and went back home.

Why is it when my wife falls pregnant, everyone rubs his belly wishing his "Congratulations", yet no one approaches me rubbing my c**k saying "Great Job!"

What did Ami say to the guy scratching his nuts?
"tell me a joke."

Seto Stevce wrote:

Moved to Random Banter.

Awesome Joke seto. love it

Lol

It wasn't that funny and im not in a mood to lawls but hey maybe tomorow but it was a good joke.

A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You wanna drink?" The man says yes and goes to a table. He drinks his beer, and goes back to get another. Then he goes home, letting his friend, who wasn't drinking, drive.

andragon40 wrote:

A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You wanna drink?" The man says yes and goes to a table. He drinks his beer, and goes back to get another. Then he goes home, letting his friend, who wasn't drinking, drive.

Hey thats sounds exact like a friend of mine

This funny topic isn't very funny . . .

A black man dies. He goes to the gates of heaven, and is let in. He patiently waits in line, and gets his wings. He then goes to God.

"Excuse me God," he says, "Now that I have my wings, am I an angel?"

God looks at him and says, "No; you my son, are a fucking bat."

That was really not that funny well i can't say im funny either heh we need some good jokes now.

Ravage_Gokan wrote:

A black man dies. He goes to the gates of heaven, and is let in. He patiently waits in line, and gets his wings. He then goes to God.

"Excuse me God," he says, "Now that I have my wings, am I an angel?"

God looks at him and says, "No; you my son, are a fucking bat."

Nice one. Lol

Three guys die and go to heaven. The first goes up to St. Peter who
says, "I have only one question before you go into heaven: Were you
faithful to your wife?" The guy answers, "Yes, I've never even looked
at another women."

St.Peter says, "See that Rolls-Royce over there? That's your car to drive while you're in heaven."

The second guy gets the same question, and answers, "Once I strayed, but I
confessed to my wife and she forgave me and we worked it out."

St. Peter says, "See that new Buick over there, that's your car to use in heaven."

The third guy answers the same question, "I have to admit, I've chased every girl I saw, and was with a lot of women."

St. Peter says, "Okay, but you were basically a good guy, so that old VW Bug over there is yours to use while you're in heaven.

The three guys go off on their separate ways.

A
few weeks later, guy #2 and guy #3 are driving along when they see guy
#1's Rolls Royce parked outside of a bar. They stop and go into the bar
and find guy #1 with empty bottles all around him, face down with his
face in is hands on the bar.

They come up to him and guy #2
says, "Bud, what could possibly be so bad-you're in heaven, you drive a
Rolls Royce, and everything is great!"

He says, "I saw my wife today!"

The other two answers, "That's great! What's the problem?"

He answers, "She was riding a skateboard!"

Woman walks into a bar, orders a drink then asks
"Excuse me, where is your restroom?"
The bartender points left and the woman gets up and enters the room, she emerges about 20 minutes later, and begins flirting with the bartender,
"Excuse me hot stuff, i need to see your manager."
She says as she starts tussling his hair, erousing him slightly, the bartender is speechless at the moment, the woman says.
"Aww looks like someones pitching a tent over me, but i need to know where the manager is."
She speaks as she rubs his lips with her finger, then gentley applies her fingers into his mouth for him to lick and suck upon, a mumble came from his mouth during the event,
"I am the manager, what do you need?"
She smiles and simply replies before walking away,
"There isnt any toilet paper in the women's restroom, nor is their any soap in the dispencer, good day to you."

Not as much funny as it is true.