The benefits of being part of an online community like this is that we are all vaguely familiar with each other in one way or another, but at the same time our personal lives remain completely anonymous. And you guys all seem to be mature gentlemen with good heads on your shoulders and decent advice to give one another, so here's the age-old question:

How the FUCK do you go about giving the old, "I'm in love with you and I have been for a long time" speech? I'm not afraid to tell her, regardless of how she feels about it, I just want to know the best way to go about doing this so that there's the most positive outcome.

Oh p.s. she just broke up with her douchebag boyfriend and they're "working things out" even tho he's not right for her and never will be. I often tell her "you deserve someone better" but I always neglect to tell her that that someone is me.

How do I go about making her mine? (Sorry for the poofter hopeless-romantic talk, but hell, I do love her.)

Whip out your cock.

Works for me.

Shin Masta wrote:

Whip out your cock.

Works for me.

That was my go-for-broke plan. I wanna try something more tactical first

Whip out your co.. oh, Shin beat me to it.

Nuh but seriously I'm usually the Vortex guy that gives advice so I might as well give ya some of my advice.

I'm gonna hate to break this to you but no matter how wrong he may seem for her, if they're in the working it out phase it probably means they had something special. That is the shit part.

The good part is that they broke up. There relationship obviously got to a point where they couldn't stand being together. This is great news(for you lol).

Now you gotta play your cards right. You don't want to be the douchebag that is the friend that keeps telling her there's someone better out there. No matter how many times she hears that she will never understand that it means "I'm the fucking better person out there!".

Timing is everything right now. Stay in touch with her. AIM/MSN her or text her and keep her happy. Keep her mind off it. Talk about things you have in common. If she sees that she can forget about that douchebag so easily when she's with you then she's gonna realise that you're the one that can make her happy.

At the end of the day brother you just gotta tell her. I've been in and out of relationships since the age of 16. I don't think I've been single for longer then 3 months. And a thing I learnt, girls like guys with confidence and ones that take control. If her and the dude she's with end up parting ways that's your time to take control. You have to be careful though coz she will be fragile after the break up. I'd tell her a week or two after how you feel about her if the time's right.

Good luck, mate. Hope that was at least a little bit helpful.

Luka wrote:

Shin Masta wrote:

Whip out your cock.

Works for me.

That was my go-for-broke plan. I wanna try something more tactical first

Alright, for that, you'll need:



These Goggles.

When you head in for the kill, I want you to put the goggles on, then proceed to quietly sneak up behind her.

Once behind her, I want you to touch her ass, and whisper this into her ear, "Mmmmh, dat ass," with your teeth sticking out and biting your lip. When she turns around to scream and bitch at you, zip them pants down, whip that CAWK out, and SHUCK AND JIVE HER. (dance.)

Tell me your process, now.

Seto Stevce wrote:

Whip out your co.. oh, Shin beat me to it.

Nuh but seriously I'm usually the Vortex guy that gives advice so I might as well give ya some of my advice.

I'm gonna hate to break this to you but no matter how wrong he may seem for her, if they're in the working it out phase it probably means they had something special. That is the shit part.

The good part is that they broke up. There relationship obviously got to a point where they couldn't stand being together. This is great news(for you lol).

Now you gotta play your cards right. You don't want to be the douchebag that is the friend that keeps telling her there's someone better out there. No matter how many times she hears that she will never understand that it means "I'm the fucking better person out there!".

Timing is everything right now. Stay in touch with her. AIM/MSN her or text her and keep her happy. Keep her mind off it. Talk about things you have in common. If she sees that she can forget about that douchebag so easily when she's with you then she's gonna realise that you're the one that can make her happy.

At the end of the day brother you just gotta tell her. I've been in and out of relationships since the age of 16. I don't think I've been single for longer then 3 months. And a thing I learnt, girls like guys with confidence and ones that take control. If her and the dude she's with end up parting ways that's your time to take control. You have to be careful though coz she will be fragile after the break up. I'd tell her a week or two after how you feel about her if the time's right.

Good luck, mate. Hope that was at least a little bit helpful.

That's actually some really good advice. But the whole part with them breaking up, is that he cheated on her over and over again and she just TAKES it because she cares about him so much, and he doesn't give a shit about her (I think). But yeah, I'm doing my best of being the guy that makes her happy. And I'm going to a rave with her this weekend, so I plan on having a mono-y-mono with her then. Hopefully she takes enough ecstacy so that I can just tell her without feeling awkward ^.^ hahahha I joke, but thanks Seto

My advice:

(Step One)
Give it a week of just talking to her every day, ask her if she wants to go out some time.

(Step Two)
Tell her that you are intrested in her. This is the most critical part, you have to come off stong enough to let her know that you want to be more than friends. If you are too soft here YOU WILL GET STUCK IN THE FRIEND ZONE! At the same time you cannot come in to fast, make it clear that you you want to be more then friends but at the same time she just got out of long relationship. You don't want her to see you as a vulture just going in for the easy kill. It is also inportant that you implement this step no later than the middle of the seccond date, OR YOU WILL GET STUCK IN THE FRIEND ZONE!

(Step Three)
Let her wip your cock out.

EDIT:

Trust me there is nothing worse then being stuck in the friend zone with a girl that you are really intrested in. Also, it is super inportant that you do ont use the word love for a long long time.

Tell her. You'll feel much better when you do. Worked for me(in the sense that I felt better, not the sense that I got the girl).




....Or you can rape her. But that may not go over too well with her dad, brother(s)ad other friends, so you might avoid that option...

And if all else fails, cheesy pick-up lines are always classy.

I'm like a Rubix cube, baby; the more you play with me, the harder I get!

Ravage_Gokan wrote:

....Or you can rape her. But that may not go over too well with her dad, brother(s)ad other friends

Or the police. You know, those meddlesome guys.

Oh yeah. Them too.

Dunno, her dad and brother(s) may be worse.

Ravage_Gokan wrote:

Oh yeah. Them too.

Dunno, her dad and brother(s) may be worse.

Yeah, at least with the cops they have to have some sort of restraint >.<

Dude, does she like you? Does she get that feeling when she sees you? If not she'll never go out with you.

Levi's wrote:

Dude, does she like you? Does she get that feeling when she sees you? If not she'll never go out with you.

Well, I've hooked up with her before, a long time ago. They've been together since >.<
She flirts with me NONSTOP when she's not with him. Maybe she's a tease, maybe not. Might as well go for it...

Like Az said don't say I love you. Tell her that you have feelings for her or something of that nature.

Just be yourself and hang out with her, Be prepared for her answer. A nice, calm response from you, no matter what she says, can give her something to think about later, even if it doesn't seem to go your way at first.
Try to be romantic, tell her when you two are alone. It may be more embarrassing for the both of you if other people are around. Be honest. If you like a girl, tell her! But not in front of anyone or she may be compelled to say no under peer pressure.

Don't hide that you like her. That will only make things worse, and you will most likely never get a chance with her.